Feeling sexually unfulfilled is just another notch on the stress belt of life - because seriously, how much bad luck can one person stand? That's why it's super important to take matters into your own hands - quite literally.
If your partner just isn't quite hitting that sweet spot, leaving you desperately yearning for an orgasm, you have to get the job done yourself, and there's absolutely no need to be shy when it comes to your own body. Female masturbation is a beautiful, beautiful thing.
Yes, we get that it can be intimidating at first; very understandable. That's why we spoke with Emily Morse, sexologist and host of the Sex with Emily podcast, and got her dish on everything women need to know about vibrators. You've got to start living your best life right NOW.
Get a proper buzz with her tips.
1. Start With Exploring Your Body
If you've never masturbated, jumping head first into the self-pleasure pool with a toy might be too much to handle. Instead, Emily recommends starting your journey with touching and caressing your body - sans vibrator.
"Get used to just lightly rubbing your hands all over your body," she shared. "Set the mood and relax. The only goal here should be relaxation, not orgasm or search for any sort of outcome."
Yup, we have to agree there. If you don't know your way around your own parts, how in the world will you know what to do with a foreign, vibrating object? Take care of self, all by yourself, first.
2. First Timers Might Want to Start Off Small
After you've figured out your body is a wonderland (shout out to John Mayer), you can work your way up to a vibrator. But Emily doesn't recommend you go big the first time around. Start off with something less intimidating, like a small external vibrator.
It's all about those baby steps.
3. Ask Yourself These Questions Ahead of Your First Purchase
Word to the wise: you always have to shop smart, no matter WHAT you're shopping for. Our pro suggested you quiz yourself on these questions prior to making your first adult toy buy:
Do you orgasm via penetration or clitoral stimulation?
- "The majority of women (about 75%) need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm, so that is usually the best kind of toy to start with."
How will you be using it? Alone or with a partner?
- "External vibrators are best for partnered use because they can be incorporated into sex, placed on the clitoris or on the man’s balls or really any where that feels good externally. An insertable vibrator is a good buddy to have around for the single gal."
Will you be using this in the shower?
- "A lot of ladies start off masturbating in the shower, and there are a ton of great vibrators that are 100% splash proof."
Do you care how it charges?
- "While most of the simpler starter vibes take batteries, rechargeables are usually more powerful and can be counted on to last longer."
4. Yes, Price Matters
You absolutely get what you pay for. While Emily says there are toys like the magic bullet "that get the job done for a fairer price," as time goes by, the cheaper products will see a decline in effectiveness; thus revealing their poor durability.
She also warns that many of the less expensive sex toys (particularly those labeled "For Novelty Use Only") may be made with unsafe materials. Be sure to keep an eye out for toys, "made with silicone, glass, stainless steel, or phthalate-free plastic. They are body-friendly, easier to clean and last much longer!"
5. Vibrators Recommended By Emily
What toys does our expert suggest? Here are some of her faves:
We-Vibe Tango
- "At just 3 inches long, this clitoral vibrator bullet is tiny yet surprisingly powerful. It's rechargeable, made of durable hard-plastic material and 100% waterproof, making it the perfect travel-companion. "
- "This is considered the Cadillac of all vibrators for a reason - It delivers results! Many like to think of this sex toy as the multiple orgasm machine - It can get you from zero to orgasm in about 15 seconds flat. "
- "This insertable G-spot vibrator is perfect for a first time user. It is small, easy to maneuver and is perfectly contoured to target the infamous G-spot. It’s also waterproof and has 8 vibration patterns to help you figure out what sensations you (and your sweet spot) like best."
- "This is a variation of the famous Rabbit Vibrator, only better. The expertly designed shaft curves perfectly into your G-spot, while the external, flexible “bunny ears” press against your clitoris for an elusive blended orgasm. Je Joue toys are infamous for their smooth velvety texture and deep rumbling vibrations. "
6. Fully Examine Your Toy Beforehand
Okay, now that you've purchased your toy, it's on to the next move. Take full stock of all its capabilities and figure out how it works. Most vibrators come equipped with a simple "on" and "off" switch, while others feature a dial connected by a cord; said to help control the intensity of the vibrations.
"As you graduate to more high-quality toys," Emily dished, "They may have different vibration patterns as well as levels of intensity, to give you more control of your pleasure. "
Choices? Levels? Sign us up!
7. Don't Be Afraid to Romance Yourself
Do you think romance is exclusively reserved for your partner? Ha! Guess again. Treat yourself to some dim lights, a nice glass of wine, and perhaps a soothing bath. Whatever it takes to set the mood for a night filled with pleasure, do it!
8. Stay Focused
Remember, this is your time to forget all your worries, so let go and let lust live. Our expert says if you find your mind wandering off to your "to do list" bring the focus back to the amazing sensations you're feeling. Don't kill your vibe.
9. Only Use With Water Based Lubricant
When it comes to lubes, stick to those that are water-based. While silicone lubricants have a tendency to last for a longer period of time, they can progressively break down the materials in your toy, which is a no-no.
We recommend Yes Organic Lubricant!
10. How to Clean 'Em
After you're done with the fun, it's time to clean up the mess. If the toy isn't cleaned properly, you run the risk of getting an infection, which, safe to say, no one wants. There are certain products specifically made for this use (System Jo Sex Toy Cleaner), but mild soap, a damp cloth, and water can also do the trick.
Be sure to read the toy's box for the best ways to clean your specific item.
Check Out These 50 Awesome Vibrators:
Are there any more tips you'd like to know? Tweet us @sofeminineUK!
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