Morning sickness is a cruel f*&!king prize for having to continue the human race. It's like the Stork Gods wanted to know how strong women really are and concocted a 9-month test that begins with terrible nausea and ends with a shrieking baby bursting through 10 cm of "open" vagina.
Of course, us women have been passing the test of childbirth with flying colours for centuries now. And we get through all the poking and prodding, pushing and screaming with our dignity intact.
The first trimester of pregnancy is a roller coaster of thrilling proportions. First you're on an emotional high because BABY GROWING INSIDE OF YOU. Next, you puke down your shirt on your way to the bathroom and you know the real fun is about to start...
Morning Sickness can feel unbearable. What's even more unbearable is when your 22-year-old colleague asks, "Well, it only lasts for a few hours in the morning, right? That's why it's called morning sickness?"
(Please, don't murder her for not knowing any better. Soon her uterus will suffer the same fate as yours because Karma is a bad b*tch that way and she's always got your back.)
We spoke to our girl, Gemma Raby, a midwife on Channel 4 show One Born Every Minute. She also works with Project-B, a company made up of angels who send expectant mothers a box full of goodies every month to help them through their pregnancies. Raby had given us some some cringe-worthy facts on birthing, and we knew she’d be a great expert on how to curb morning sickness.
“Normal morning sickness is well tolerated by the expectant mum,” she begins, reassuringly. “It's not pleasant but doesn't cause significant dehydration or stress on the body.”
Alright, so even when you’re crawling on all fours to the toilet, try to remember that with these remedies YOU CAN HANDLE IT! I mean, you are a woman for a Christ's sake. You can handle just about anything.
Sleep like it's your second job
After-work drinks are a thing of the past. Yeah, you could hang out with your friends while they sip on Sauv Blanc in front of you, unaware of the billowing cloud of jealousy traveling through your body (we know, you just really miss wine. We get it.) But why subject yourself to such misery? "Try to rest when possible," Gaby says.
Go home and nap. Demand your partner make you dinner and then nap again. Get up and pee for 10 minutes and then go to bed for the night. Sleep-deprived pregnant women are more vulnerable to dizziness. Get your rest!
Hydrate
Raby stresses the importance of staying hydrated throughout your pregnancy, so keep that 2 litre Evian bottle filled with water and sip on it throughout the day.
She recommends drinking "2 to 3 litres" of water a day because, as you can probably guess, staying properly hydrated is going to curb dizziness and achy muscles and make you a generally nicer person to be around.
Although, you ARE preggers after all so you can get away with being a little sassy!
Eat immediately after waking
"This is why sickness is more common in the morning as nothing has been eaten since the night before," Gaby tells us. "Have something first thing on waking, like a granola bar."
Keeping a box of Belvita or granola bars on your bedside table is a good idea. This way when you wake up in a cloud of nausea you can reach over and grab a quick bite before getting out of bed!
Stay cool
"Try to avoid being too warm inside," Gaby says. Yesss, we know snuggling up on the sofa with a warm throw blanket might feel good as you're watching the latest Scandal, but a cool breeze on your body will do you wonders!
Gaby warns that being hot "can lower blood pressure causing some dizziness and even fainting."
Snack throughout the day
Although you are technically eating for two, your eating habits will start to resemble a bird's. Gaby recommends that you keep healthy snacks handy. "Dried fruit and nuts are great options."
You'll find that your body will actually want to eat smaller meals throughout the day instead of the traditional three big meals. Listen to your grumbling stomach and eat whenever you feel nausea coming on.
While you might have a craving for some BBQ wings, don't do it, woman (well, at least not all the time!) Gaby recommends that "easy to digest meals" are best for your tummy.
Light exercise
For the achy muscles, low-impact exercising is great solution, Gaby says that "gentle exercise such as walking and swimming are good to prevent stiffness." Yoga, easy stretching, and dancing - as long as you're not twerkin' it - are good for reducing pain in your muscles!
Peppermint and ginger are your new BFFs
Peppermint and ginger are natural remedies that are helpful for nausea and vomiting," Gaby informs us. "Try peppermint or ginger teas, crackers, or even sucking on candies."
If you don't want to eat candies all day, try taking a whiff of peppermint and ginger oils. "A drop of one or both into a tissue and then inhaled can be very helpful," Gaby tells us. "They are also safe in pregnancy."
Heat therapy
A warm bath feels SO MUCH BETTER when you're pregnant. The heat from the water is a natural way to relieve muscle ache.
Gaby urges women to stay away from heating pads though: "Typically products you run in that give heat or cold relief aren't recommended in pregnancy due to the chemicals used to create the reaction."
Massages
If your stomach or your muscles are throbbing in pain, a massage is in order, Gaby says.
Get your partner to gently massage your abdomen with an open palm. Or if your man has the grip of death, treat yourself to a prenatal massage with a professional!
If morning sickness feels more than just morning sickness...
"Severe morning sickness or hyperemesis is often continuous throughout the day," Gaby says. "It often means that no diet or fluids can be taken or tolerated, [which] causes severe dehydration. It usually requires treatment in hospital using anti-sickness injections and tablets and IV fluids to rehydrate."
If you start to feel like your morning sickness is taking a turn for the "HOLY SHIT THIS IS AWFUL" territory, something could be wrong. "True hyperemesis is quite rare though," Gaby assures, but if you're worried, consult your doctor ASAP!
What cures and remedies are you going to try? Tweet us @sofeminineUK.
