So for all the neurotic girls out there, here's a list of all our everyday struggles.
1. You frequently plan out conversations that you will have with your friends and the responses they will have to make sure that when you do tell them something, it will all go perfectly.
2. You have a slight twinge in your chest and spend all day obsessing over your imminent death.
3. You check and re-edit your tweets and status updates about 15 times before sending them. And kick yourself afterwards for being so unfunny and incapable at life.
4. You hear someone laughing in your vicinity and immediately think it's about you.
5. You constantly catastrophise imaginary disasters as if they were happening to you at that very moment. Genuinely. All the time.
6. You can't help but ask your friends/boyfriend/anyone "Are they OK?" until they most definitely are NOT OK.
7. You can't get through to your family and immediately presume they've been in a car crash and died.
8. You contact people through text, email, Whatsapp ANYTHING rather than having the stress of picking up the phone.
9. You automatically say sorry when someone bumps into you. When they don't say it back you become increasingly anxious as to why that might be.
10. You introduce your friends to each other but instantly freak out that they’ll get along TOO well and start to cut you out.
11. You know the answer to a question but you’re scared of saying anything just in case you humiliate yourself by getting it wrong. Despite knowing you’re 100 per cent right.
12. You tell a creepy guy to 'eff off and hate yourself all day for being such a b*tch.
13. You don't receive a single text all afternoon and torture yourself that everyone hates you.
14. You hear a bump at home and run through all possible ways you are about to get murdered.
15. You replay even the most absurdly mundane conversations and interactions just in case there is some hidden meaning in there...somewhere.
16. You leave your house 3 times every morning. The first to go to work. The second to check if you've left your straighteners on, despite the fact you probably didn't use them. The third just to doubly make sure you locked the door.
17. Your boss asks for 'a word' and in the 2 minute walk to their office you've imagined all possible ways to pack up your desk and leave without anyone noticing.
18. Your friend calls you after a while of not speaking and you panic and think you've said something nasty and they've found out. Even though you haven't.
19. You feel like you're having the best day of your life, then you trip and fall over and berate yourself for thinking this could ever be a good day.
20. You come out of a horrible toilet at the office and apologise profusely for the smell while making everyone absolutely certain it wasn’t you (it really wasn't). You never go to a toilet on that floor again.
21. You hide every time someone unexpectedly knocks at your front door.
22. You see a man cross over the road towards you and feel genuine terror. You immediately cross to the other side of the road. Just in case.
Like this? Follow this author over on Twitter @Marrbell for more inane ramblings.
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