It's 2017 and we still can't have nice things. Life's simple staples - such as jeans and mayonnaise - are being reinvented more times than we can say 'WHAT THE FUCK?' in one breath and we're close to staging an intervention. High-street favourite Topshop has come under fire twice in not as many months for their plastic-window mom jeans and more recently, their completely see-through designs. Meanwhile IT-brand Vetements are selling jeans with a zip on your butt because a rear view is what your everyday denim has been missing all this time.
American chain Nordstrom are the latest fashion giant to jump on this bandwagon and their offering is a very strong contender for the most hideous 'trend' of 2017. The luxury department store is selling a pair of mud-covered jeans, complete with muddied butt, for £350 of your precious pounds. THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY POUNDS i.e. half a month's rent to pretend you went to Glastonbury or live like a faux farmer. Which is obviously unspeakable even though the mud looks authentic AF - the offensive denim is splattered with different tones of muddy browns presumably to differentiate between wet and dry.
What's more laughable than the jeans themselves is the website's product description which reads: "Heavily distressed medium-blue denim jeans in a comfortable straight-leg fit embody rugged, Americana workwear that's seen some hard-working action with a crackled, caked-on muddy coating that shows you're not afraid to get down and dirty."
If a crackled, caked-on muddy coating doesn't get you the woman of your dreams, I honestly don't know what will.
If you've got more money than sense, you can by the muddy-bottom jeans here.
Is this the stupidest jean reinvention, yet? Let me know @soFeminineUK
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