When Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin split, we were reminded just how hard marriage can be (heck, even the rich and famous aren't immune to earth-shattering breakups.) It was yet another brutal reminder that no one is exempt from facing the trials and tribulations of love. There's no doubt about it, when dealing with matters of the heart, things can get really rough.
We spoke with 25-year-old Evelyn Delgado, who has been married to her husband Jon for almost 4 years, and she shared her advice on maintaining a joyful union. We were also able to find advice from other couples who make tying the knot more tempting then ever before.
Want to know the real life secrets to a happy marriage? Read on.
1. Never walk away while under emotional stress
Although Evelyn admits that she is new to marriage, she's been able to use her observations of real life couples, as well as solid reading material, to guide her marital journey. Her experiences has taught her many things, namely, to never walk away while under emotional stress.
"When you walk away every time things get rough, you are creating distance between two loving hearts." she revealed. We couldn't agree more!
2. Remember: your spouse comes FIRST
At around 4:30 of the clip Austin and Brittany Null share great advice. Our fave: your partner comes first! While this bit can be applied in many facets, Austin specifically mentions spending time with your mate before hopping on the computer. "I noticed when we actually have time to connect, it makes our relationship better. Then later on, I can go do those things, and we're already set."
Technology has us so warped, we can sometimes unintentionally neglect those we love. Be mindful of what the other wants, as to not cause unnecessary friction.
3. Don't forget you're on the same team
Arguments between an angry wife and thoughtless husband can reach World War III epic levels. When that happens, it's easy to attack with no holds barred. Brittany Null thinks that's a terrible idea. "Remember you're on the same team. Meaning, remember that you love each other, and you do care about each other." she says. "Even if you disagree, it's not a war." We're taking a mental note, Britt!
4. Love can only last with friendship
Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and his wife Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz, open their video with, "Being in love is easy. But making love last takes real friendship, not just love." According to Dr. Charles, a marriage is phony if your partner isn't your best friend. When they've spoken to other successful couples around the world, they described their spouse and best friend as being trustworthy and supportive, offering undying loyalty, and having mutual admiration for each other.
We'd say it's time to aim to be all of these things and more.
5. Be consistent
As with most things in life, consistency is key. Evelyn's mother-in-law once told her, "The Queen makes the King." It was invaluable advice she didn't forget. "It all finally clicked -- in order to be happy and remain happy I must learn to stay consistent, and remember that being consistent will make my husband want to do the same." she said.
6. Grow together
When the video hits 0:56, we're introduced to Bonnie and Karl, who have been married for over half a century. While they both share great advice, Bonnie left us with something to remember. "You need to grow together in what you do. Try new things. Start skiing if you haven't done it. Do it as a couple." she says. It's also important not allow yourselves to become separated by different hobbies. Sharing new experiences with your partner is the perfect way to grow and strengthen your bond.
7. Lead by example
Another crucial tip to a happy marriage? According to Evelyn you should, "be the example your partner wants and needs." Sometimes your partner needs an extra nudge, or someone to show them healthy habits to a happy relationship. Don't be afraid to be the one to take the lead.
8. Don't sweat the little things
Marriage is all about picking your battles. "When you are in a relationship you will always bicker, and fight. Learn to let go of the little things," says Evelyn. It's important to keep in mind the both of you have your own ways to viewing the world, and thus different ways of handling various situations. You're bound to clash here and there, but really aim to know the difference between a huge issue and a small one.
Who needs the extra stress?
9. Be appreciative of what you both have and don't expect miracles
Ann and John Betar are a couple from Connecticut who have been married for upwards of 80 years. Yup, you read that correctly-80 YEARS. What's the key to their happiness and longevity? "Just contentment. Be contented with what you have and what you're doing," says John. Soon after Ann warned couples about expecting miracles from each other. She says, "It doesn't work that way. We're all different." See, we told ya. Fairytales aren't real!
10. Don't pout, talk it out
Passive aggressiveness is for the birds! Finis and Helen Hardin are sitting on over 60 years of marriage wisdom. Helen says, "Don't pout and throw slurs" It's much better to talk it out. Remember, the key to any successful relationship is communication. We can't stress that enough.
Do you have any tips and secrets to a happy marriage? We'd love to hear them! Tweet us @sofeminineUK
