Sleep is made up of 90 minute cycles, each including a phase of slow sleep and REM sleep. Dreams appear in the second phase. Erotic dreams are an integral part of our private lives, from a very young age, and occur a lot in adolescence. Puberty gives rise to the sexiest dreams, as this is when we first experience feelings of love and desire. Erotic dreams can be a process of learning about sex that continues throughout adulthood.
Where do sexy dreams come from?
Psychoanalysts agree about the origin of erotic dreams: they're not just chance, they're the fruit of desires experienced through the day. For example, if someone has left an impression on you during the day, it’s quite possible that you’ll dream about fantasies with him during your sleep.
What purpose do erotic dreams serve?
Making love during a dream shows that the dreamer's imagination is stimulated or, according to Freud, that it is capable of building a desired scenario or to satisfy unconscious impulses. Erotic dreams are liberating as they allow the individual to live out buried sexual needs and help them to manage their daily lives better.
Far from moral pressure, the dreamer can use their sexual energy and express all their sexual desires, even the most eccentric ones. Do you dream about being a maneater though in reality you're honourable and faithful? Or do you dream about having wild sex with your office mate, even though he's a bit intimidating? It doesn't matter: taboos, shyness and other blockages have no place in your dreams!
Better still, erotic dreams help to detect certain blockages and to free them. So a frigid young woman who constantly dreams about sexual relationships with multiple orgasms can realise her unease and decide to seek the help of a specialist to get to the bottom of her problem.
Should you worry about erotic dreams?
Definitely not! These dreams are not signs of problems: they're a sign of good psychological health. Your dreams are translated into repressed carnal and sexual desire and you can't help them. They should never be confused with reality, so there's no need to feel guilty and to imagine that you suffer from any form of perversity.
How do you interpret them?
It’s probably good and even beneficial to question the meaning of erotic dreams in order to improve your daily life, especially your love and sex life.
Psychoanalysts consider erotic dreams to come in two forms:
Firstly, dreams that involve sexual penetration can indicate a lack of it in real life and unfulfilled libido. Secondly, dreams about the body (touching and kissing) can simply mean you have good general wellbeing.
For both women and men, some symbols are universal.
- Encounters with lovers:the scenarios start out quite similar for most people. Individual experiences are then added, as well as relationship situations and their relationships with society. These details allow precise interpretation and can make all the difference. Other symbols such as fire, earth, water, day, night, trains etc are universal. In terms of analysis, dreams that are about encounters do not tell us about the type of person we want to make real but rather our own hidden face. A person who dreams about her new boss who has an assertive character and a colourful existence does not neccessarily mean she desires him, but that she would like her life to be more like that person.
- Objects and places: if a person dreams about making love with her partner on a train, this can mean that their relationship is on the right track. If the train is derailed, the relationship could be in jeopardy.
If you dream about making love near a fireplace then this can mean that your relationship is passionate and fulfilling, in no way passive and boring, and that you have a strong sex drive.
If you dream about torrid lovemaking on water, in a boat for example, congratulations: this means that you are in perfect sexual harmony with your partner.
Dreams about sexual relations where your hair is tied up can mean that you're afraid of sex. However, if your hair is loose it matches your sexuality, which means no restraint!
- Making love in the presence of animals: Cats are symbols of tenderness, gentleness, passion and independence: what you want to feel with your man at the beginning of a relationship.
Dogs tell us about your relationship. If the dog is waggling his tail and seems happy, this means that fidelity reigns within the relationship. However, if the dog shows his fangs, it means that one of you is betraying the other.
- Nudity: a situation where you need to be naked means that you have a certain desire for exhibitionism or that you want to free your sexuality more.
In all cases, dreaming about sex is quite natural and necessary for psychological fulfillment. It also signifies a strong libido and desire to benefit from the pleasures of life. Of course, if certain dreams take a concerning form or disturb your thoughts during the day, better speak to a therapist to deal with any issues.
