1. I have NOTHING to wear!
Usually we reach this conclusion after creating a huge clothing mountain on the bed. Seriously WHERE are all our clothes?!
2. Why hasn't he called me back?
Maybe he's seriously busy! Maybe he's dead. Maybe he's lost our number... Somehow not getting a timely call is enough to push us over the edge to a full on freak out.
We've just got to try and remember how busy life gets. And if he really doesn't want to call us back, that's not something to flip out over. There are plenty of fish in the sea!
3. I'm SOOOOOO fat right now.
Gah, we NEED to stop body shaming. So maaaaybe we ate one too many crisps, and maybe we've gained a little weight. However, this is all normal, and if we're not happy with how we look - we can take control! All bodies are beautiful, no matter what size.
4. OMG he just LIKED my photo! Does he LIKE me?
Uhh, how do we not overreact to this. We seriously have to ANALYSE!
5. Great, he probably thinks I'm a psycho now...
Whatever we think he's creeped out by? He probably hasn't even thought about it...At all.
6. No, it's not thunder, just my tummy gurgling. So much for being a lady.
Yes, this is embarassing but more likely than not, no one even heard it. Perhaps it's time to eat some lunch? Or a Rennie?
7. I just ate carbs - there goes my waistline!
One cookie isn't going to trash our entire diet. Keep calm and cookie on...
8. Is that...A PIMPLE?? Yup, my week is ruined.
Acne SUCKS, but makeup is a beautiful thing. We just try to ignore it and go on with our bad selves.
9. Where ARE you?! I hate sitting by myself.
Everyone runs late, we've got to cut our friends some slack! A little alone time is good for the soul.
10. I just broke a nail!!!
Why is life so cruel sometimes? We're joking, times like these we've just got to get a grip.
11. Am I crazy or is everyone staring at me? OMG, is that pimple back?!
Paranoia isn't attractive on anyone, but everyone gets this feeling once in a while. We've got to realize that's all it is: paranoia. And if for some strange reason, people are looking, it's probably just because we're flawless! That must be it.
12. I look like sh*t....and there's my crush.
Keep calm, and keep moving, girl!
13. My sex life is nonexistent. Time to join the nunnery.
The dreaded dry spell. That doesn't mean we're never going to get any. Better yet, we'll probably have an even better time once we get back in the saddle!
14. Yes, I'm getting laid - wait, now people will think I'm a SLUT!
Why do we freak out about getting our freak on? No one is gonna think it's trampy and if they do, it's like mumma always said: they're probably just jealous.
15. BF, why are you looking at her? Is she prettier than me?
Hot-blooded males WILL appreciate the female form, even when that form isn't US (great). That doesn't mean he's going to automatically jump her bones, so, girls, let's take it down a notch.
16. Oh no, there's my ex. Breath, girl, breath.
Instead of being nervous, this is where we pull out our inner vamp and strut our stuff - show him what he's missing! Fool!
17. Is this a purse or a black hole? WHERE THE HELL ARE MY KEYS?
This is the WORST! Why do they disappear so easily? Time to buy one of those chain things to keep those little buggers in sight.
18. How can the salon NEVER get my hair colour right?
More likely than not, they did get our colour right, we just need to wash it a couple times. Don't take it out on your poor stylist!
19. That ONE single piece of hair just WON'T stay put!
Bobby pins can actually save lives from bad hair days. Also, we're probably alone in noticing that one, insignificant (and damned annoying) hair.
20. A grey hair?? I'm *sniffle* getting *sob* old.
Just because we've got one or two grey hairs doesn't mean they will all of a sudden start a full on invasion of our hair follicles. If we have a few more than we want, we know what to do: go nicely apologize to our hair stylist and try that new colour again.
22. Why can't I jog without my face glowing like a fire engine?
It's called hard work.
23. Great, now I smell like the gym. Aren't women supposed to smell like daffodils and roses?
Uhh, no matter what Photoshop tries to make us think, women aren't perfect. If we look like we're coming from the gym, everyone knows why we're sweaty. And if we're hitting up the shower right away anyway, what's the harm?
24. But (insert fictional name) has to end up with (insert fictional name) - they can't do this to me!
When we watch TV, we take it to HEART. We care about those fictional characters, sometimes more than our own friends. So when nasty screenwriters try and ruin our fantasies? We hurt bad. Just remember that although it's painful, like deep down in our souls, one failed TV show relationship is not the end of the world.
"Let It GO!!!!!!"
We will never be Disney princesses and we can't go back to when we were six-years-old, so in the now famous words of Queen Elsa: LET IT GO! Adulthood ain't so bad.
What do you flip out over most often? Tweet us @sofeminineUK
