You can’t avoid being covered in booze
Taking off your tights to find your legs covered in blackcurrant juice from all of those Snakebites you’ve made tonight? We feel your pain.
You've been chatted up by every hammered guy ordering a drink
They can’t string a sentence together but they still manage to call your makeup-less, sweaty self in a booze soaked work shirt 'beautiful'. Thanks, but we know you are lying. NOW BE ABOUT YOUR DRUNKEN BUSINESS!
You permanently smack into your coworkers
Swooping under their arms to get the to till, sliding past each other to reach the right bottle, shouting ‘SORRY!’ over the music every 5 seconds when you inevitably hit into someone; behind a busy bar is a dangerous place to be.
It feels like you’re in a permanent rush
When everyone is crowding around a bar it feels like a never ending race to serve everyone, which makes it all the more frustrating when optics take FOREVER to pour out a shot or someone is already using the till. COME ON MAN WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!
Your tips can actually be amazing
Someone buys their 8th £2.50 beer with a tenner then tells you to keep the change? What is a girl to do?!
Feeling the horror of pouring a shot and seeing the optic only half full
Not only will your customer have a drink with the wrong measurement of vodka in it, you have to take that bottle down, get a new one, replace the optic then TRY to balance it upside down again without creating chaos. Or you could ignore it and just use that other bottle of voddy…
Working with a hangover is torture
Try as you might, you cannot avoid the smell of alcohol as you make all of those drinks…just keep the whiskey AWAY.
You dread the question ‘what ales would you recommend?’
Do I look like someone who knows what ales to recommend?!
You feel a faint pride after making a slightly complicated drink
“See how the black vodka is floating on TOP of the lemonade? I did that.”
There’s always that one customer who clicks to get your attention
Who is then ignored for the rest of the evening.
You know that whenever they say ‘surprise me’ it’ll always end badly
You surprise them by making a drink, then the drink will the wrong. It’s inevitable.
You have mastered making several drinks at once
Pouring two pints whilst making a double JD and coke and giving the customer their change? Childs play.
There's always one punter who needs to tell you their worldly problems
This isn't a film and I'm not a wise bar tender who can show you the way in life. Stop whinging and go dance!
There’s always time for a little dance break
You can’t spend all night in a bar and not let go a little, especially when your TUNE is on. Forget the punters, just take a moment to enjoy yourself.
Clean up at the end of the night is always HORRIBLE
Bars aren’t the cleanest of places, and you know that cloth you are using to wipe down the sides isn’t the most hygienic. In fact, everything is grimy, and it sucks. Especially when you have to be the one to check the toilets. Blergh.
Your feet stick to the floor
Don’t wear any shoes you like. Primark plimsolls. Stick to the Primark plimsolls.
Some drink orders are so disgusting you can only watch them drink it in amazement
Horrible mixes, dozens of shots, anything with TOMATO JUICE – people are gross.
You NEVER get a break
Enjoy your eight hour shift, you’ll get used to the feeling that you may as well not be wearing shoes because your feet hurt so badly in no time!
Your day is f*cked
Sleeping till five, then having dinner at 3am then going to bed at again at 4? You have problems.
Pouring yourself one once the bar closes is an essential
You might be desperate for bedtime, but not before you enjoy a drink. You can’t watch everyone enjoy themselves all evening then not take a little time for yourself!
Your work friends are your best friends
Only they can understand all the inner workings of plying customers with alcohol!
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You've gotten drunk on your shift
Especially when working at a wedding or holiday. Everyone knows, but no one says anything. The great thing for you is that everything because ten times funnier.
Working at a bar? What do you love and hate about it? Tweet us @SofeminineUK
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